Look to where you want to go . . .

Look to where you want to go.

it seems self explanatory . . .

Simple even. And actually, it is simple.

Like many things, what is truly simple is not always easy.

But here lies some magic: your focus. Your attention.

For reasons completely unknown to me, often for many of us it can be easier to look at where we don’t want to go.

I am reminded of learning how to ski in trees or ride a bike on a rocky, rooty trail. At first, all I saw were trees, roots, and rocks – in other words, stuff I was surely going to hit and hurt myself with.

After a while, I found the flow – look where you want to go. Look for the space. Look for the possibility. This is what called me to be in the present moment. Attention.

Focusing on whatever obstacles we perceive can leave us with feelings of frustration, feeling lost, disconnected, or unhappy. We may develop a story of why things are not the way they are supposed to be. If we repeat the story over and over again, we might even begin to believe it.

Recognizing this feeling can be a turning point.

Refocusing on what you actually want – finding the space – is a game changer.

To clarify, I mean focusing on what you want. Not what you think you want. Not what someone else thinks you want. Not what you think is “best” or “practical” or “rational” or a myriad of other reasonings.

. . . and please do not worry about being “selfish”, “self-centred”, or “egotistical” . . .

At this point I hope that we all can realize and remember: it’s better to leave self-deprecating judgement at the door. Be soft with yourself. Be kind here.

By better examining the shoulds, could-ofs, and would-ofs, we can begin to unwind the layers and free ourselves from our ego – our perceived sense of who we are. It’s not that these parts of ourselves are not welcome. They are. It just that, they are not necessarily in charge of the show. They may not be leading us towards our best self.

Being your honest, authentic self is not a selfish act but the opposite. It is an act of courage. It is a practice of grace.

When we build a relationship with ourselves based on kindness and compassion, we naturally connect with others similarly. This practice can not only helps us, but also weaves in every single person or entity that interacts with us.

And so . . . a most simple and important step:

Focus on your path. Not the obstacles.

Who would we be without our story?
How would we interact with others?
How would we talk to ourselves?

Be kind with yourself. Go gently.